Tired of getting yelled at?
…why not do something about it?
There are multiple reasons why people “get yelled at” from time to time, and in many cases, they deserve it. We’ve all (well, as good as) yelled at someone at some point or other throughout our lives, and in most cases, the person on the receiving end deserved it, didn’t they?
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Now, getting yelled at again and again, and through analysis of the situation finding again and again that it was undeserved, warrants some action. Aggression, e.g. at the workplace, is both acceptable and not, depending on the outlets it is allowed to take. If a supervisor or coworker finds that a good outlet for their aggression and frustration is yelling at you for no apparent – or a very thin – reason, then that is unacceptable. If, for example, the aggression had an outlet in the company workout room, or in more motivation to make a sale, perhaps, that would be acceptable. We’ll be looking at the unacceptable way, of course.
When it comes to dealing with aggression, and aggressive people, there is really only one way. You have to, at some point, defend yourself to avoid personal injury, that being either physical or mental damage, or possibly both. When confronting an attacker in today’s society, especially one in for example an office environment, or other workspace, we don’t really need to don protective riot-gear to get through it safely. Confrontation of your attacker is the only way to effectively diffuse, rectify and better the situation that you’re in.
Confrontation though, however potentially healthy, can be risky, and preparing to confront that supervisor (or just coworker) is important. You should stick with it and endure the aggression for a little while longer after you’ve read this, and use that little while to read up on how to effectively diffuse and change the situation. Just remember that being yelled at groundlessly day after day is not something you should have to take, and it’s nothing you should accept even once.
We’ve got some recommended reading for you – all easily accessible, since you obviously managed to access this site…
Here’s a good article, a couple of years old, but this is really timeless; “Mistakes and Strategies for Confronting Your Boss”, by Michael Horgan.
DareToSayIt.com has another good analysis for confronting your boss, a lot to do with constructive criticism, but these tips also work when there’s an aggressive situation that need rectifying.
Confronting an aggressor, and especially a supervisor, boils down to you, at one level or another, challenging that person’s perceived authority, or “power” over you. That is often a hard thing to swallow for the personality type that feels it is ok to berate others and relieve their aggression on them. Done right, however, the outcome can be great change.
If it doesn’t work…there’s always the James Dean method…
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