The Single, Absolutely Surefire Way of Beating Airport Security
By Emma Ward, 26th May, 2012
Why Try?
Since I started writing for this place a few years ago, airport security have changed. My view on the matter hasn’t changed all that much, however; we need airport security, and we need the “security theater” that many people seem to think is a bad idea. Contrary to his own claims, Bruce Schneier didn’t coin that phrase – yours truly, along with many other security professionals have been using that terms for years before any of his “books” came out, and it’s a very legitimate method in the security industry. You may also know it as a “deterrent”…
So why would you try to avoid airport security? Well, because it’s gone insane, that’s why. Absolutely mental, as our UK friends would likely put it. Now, while that mostly applies to the US, where the TSA has managed to become one of the most hated federal agencies in the history of man kind, it also goes for a lot of other countries. Though I’ve always been supportive of airport security and the various methods that have been put into use, there seems to be a rather disturbing absence of common sense these days. And where common sense ends, disasters start.
There are literally hundreds of ways of trying (and possibly succeeding) to beat airport security measures. We’ve even described some of the methods here, and here, and here (and a few other places). The metal detectors are easy to fool – the usually react badly to speed, and anything with equal or less metal than a small cell phone won’t make it go off. Also, metal detectors won’t react to ceramics, so any weapons made of that will slip through. There’s always the possibility of a random check, of course…
How about the x-ray? That’s tricky, but it’s absolutely possible to fool an x-ray machine. Well, that’s not exactly right – you actually fool the operator, but who’s nitpicking… We’ve got that all explained too, in one of those pages I linked to a paragraph or so ago. That sort of leaves the question – why do we need all this screening, all the security regulations and all the hoopla that it has become to get to your flight? Well, the fact is… we don’t.
What we need, is common sense. Common sense means prohibiting the obvious weapons. Guns, bombs, big-ass knives…that sort of thing. That means grandma’s knitting needles are good to go. So are water pistols and toys, water, coca cola, orange juice and whatnot else you feel like drinking on your flight (within limits…), jello, food, baby food, breast milk… we could go on forever about the insane things that have been confiscated or prohibited at one point or another. No more strip searching infants (though kids in wheel chairs may need a closer look – not because of the kid, but the wheel chair, silly), no more “special screening” of 90-year-olds and so on and so forth. Common sense: because grandma won’t go BOOM.
What? You want to know how to beat airport security, just like I promised you in the headline? Sure… I guess we can talk about that.
The Single, Surefire Way of Beating Airport Security.
There really is one way you can get to where you’re going without going through airport security. And it’ going to disappoint you. If you’ve perfected the methods we’ve listed before, where you effectively fool the tactics employed by the TSA and many, many other agencies around the world, you’re still, after all, going through airport security. Beating pieces of it is one thing, and there’s no guarantee you’ll even be able to do that with the tricks we’ve presented before, and beating the whole system is another.
What is it?
Take the train.
See? I told you that you’d be disappointed. Taking the train (or a bus, or your car, or a bicycle, or tricycle, or motorcycle or a boat…) will get you to where you’re going without having to take off your shoes even once if you don’t feel like it. Nobody’s going to grab your crotch and hurl kiddies out of their wheelchairs. Good, huh?
In fact, until the TSA and other similar agencies around the world start doing what they should be doing; introducing some common sense back into the mix, and toning down the deterrent that they’re actually in control of to where it’s actually effective (that means being a deterrent and not just a big boulder in the way of absolutely everyone), I say take the train. Or some other form of transportation. Because you know… getting on a flight just eggs’em on. It’s true.
Got an article idea? Know a few security tips and tricks that we don’t? Why not submit an article – check out the submission guidelines on our about page. We like guest posts, we read all comments and answer all questions. Go ahead – test us.
Did you know we have a newsletter? Get the latest and greatest by putting your name an email in the box below! We never sell, lend, or even look closely at your email address.
About Author
Hmm…Well I am glad you didn’t list off a tons of ways for people to bring harmful or dangerous substances onto planes. For some reason or another, TSA has created rules at times unbeknownst to be, doesn’t mean that they are pointless. Annoying at times yes, but really I normally travel red eyes so security really isn’t so bad.
Oh no! Now they will realize they totally forgot trains and my primary mode of transportation will be ruined. How could you?
Crack…we’re sorry. Our bad. 🙁
Durring the Olympics in SaltLake I managed to bypass all of security , patdowns and detectors. I walked through a unlocked security door into a empty office with one chair and nothing and no one in the room. panic made me decide that going back through the door would cause me more grief than good and I walked through the second door only 6-8 feet away and found my self on the catwalk attached to the plane. I kept walking telling myself I wasnt going to stop unless someone grabed me. I thought id have to go back once I got to the plane because the LED banner said a different city than I was flying to but the flight attendant saw the look on my face and corrected me before I turned back. Not to say I was randomly SSS 3 times in my first airport outta 3ppl and again at my next airport and again in the next . I was pretty pissed by this point and they should issue break away braclets or something lol now that I can look back. I think they should get real and start profiling Arab looking ppl first then younger men and so on. I know they where only searching me infront of all the passengers to set them at ease. Make 1 person uncomfortable to put the greater mass at ease. I dont mind really. aslong as the woman whos 4months pregnant is not over stressed. thanks for readin and I beat Airport security by accident lol
In my honest opinion someone could still manage to get though security with a weapon but it’s very hard so they are still useful. Think about it….. if someone REALLY wanted to hijack a plane they could get a mechanical gun and put all the small pieces together after they made it pas the metal detector…. but once again. It would take a LOT of work.