The 5 Most Stunningly Silly Things Airport Security Has Done (in the last few years)

Airport security is a good thing – we’ve said this again and again, but even we have to admit that there are some silly things going on from time to time. All right… all the time. There are, however, times when even we start to doubt ourselves when we leap to the defense of physical security, security guards and security regulations both in and out of the airport.

Here’s a few of those moments from the last few years. Reading back through these is enough to make any security officer redden in and around the general facial area.

5: Forcing You to Break Bones if you “wanna fly today”

People in wheelchairs will always experience some extra effort in security. That’s okay – there are good reasons for being diligent when screening a wheelchair. However, that doesn’t excuse the TSA officers who told a woman in braces and a wheelchair (she had polio once upon a time) that she would either have to get up and walk (yep..that seems reasonable) or be strip searched. Literally.

She was told she would have to “drop her pants” so that her braces could be “cleared”. 

That’s not the only insane story about crutches, wheelchairs and injuries, however. This woman was told to give up her crutches and stand on her injured foot, if she wanted to go soaring through the air that day. Causing two fractures to her injured foot. Good job…?

4: Thinking Arabic Script = Terrorist Alphabet?

A peace activist was forced to remove his t-shirt before boarding a plane from JFK in 2006.

On a trip back from the Middle East, Iraqi blogger and activist Raed Jarrar was not allowed to board a flight at JFK airport because he was wearing a T-Shirt that said “We will not be silent” in English and Arabic. Airport security forced him to change his T-Shirt saying wearing it was like “going to a bank with a T-Shirt reading ‘I am a robber.'”

Yeees… Because “We will not be silent” in English… oh wait… that still doesn’t mean “I will make the plane go BOOM”.

3: Taking harmless things from pilots

This happens more often than we like to think. While we believe that screening airport and airline crews is as important as screening the passengers (we’ve talked so much about this, we’re just going to leave it at that…), taking the airline issued butter knife from a pilot in uniform is nothing short of retarded, bringing shame on everyone who has ever worked in airport security.

That said, a butter knife is a knife, after all, so we see how a confused TSA agent could feel threatened by it… (nah, not really). But there’s more: the TSA apparently randomly decided that forks were just as bad in the hands of uniformed pilots, and decided to confiscate a few of those as well. You know, to go with the butter knives.

2: Designating “pastries” as terrorist weaponry

That may not have been an official designation, but one “overzealous” screener (that’s the TSA’s own description of the screener) thought that the frosting on a cupcake was probably in cohorts with various terrorist groups around the world. He/she was probably right… we’re sure the frosting was to die for. Ah-hah-haa….

As one pilot put it:

“That we can use the words “cupcake” and “security” in the same sentence is a bright red flag that something is very, very wrong…”

We agree.

1: Too much crap to even start in on.

Sorry. Here’s a few:

– TSA confiscates a butter knife from an airline pilot.
– TSA takes away a girl’s purse because it had an embroidered handgun design on it.
– TSA confiscates a 4-inch plastic rifle from a GI Joe doll, because it’s a “replica weapon.”
– TSA removes a liquid-filled baby rattle from an airline pilot’s infant daughter.
– TSA confiscates a plastic “Star Wars” lightsaber from a toddler. (Because you know, the Force might be strong in him…)

That said, we still think airport security is a good thing! Check out what we think here and here, for example.

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