Portable Bodyscanners – Coming Soon, to a Town Near You!

There’s good news out there for all you guys and gals who just love those body scanners. Not only will you be able to enjoy a full body scan in airports, there might soon be one on every corner! No more waiting in line, no more having to have a valid ticket before getting to step into that that cozy piece of machinery that stripsearches you without even touching you (and we know you’re just shivering with delight as you read this!). How, you ask?

With the help of the glorious NYPD (yep, the “Blue” one!), law enforcement in your neighborhood will soon be able to scan your body, through your clothing, perhaps from a distance of up to 82 feet! That, ladies and gentlemen, is nothing short of amazing. Amazing for them, amazing for you, amazing for everyone! Not only will they be able to see if you have weapons on you, they will be able to do it without your knowledge! Isn’t that just the most thrilling news you’ve had all day? Yep, we thought it would be, and we’re glad to be able to give you that toe-tingling thrill by bringing you the news.

Have you ever thought that the body scanners in airports just isn’t enough? Have you been longing for that scanning feeling, even if you’ve only just landed? Have you been thinking that there should be a body scanner in every city, in every town and burg, heck, maybe even one on every block, for that matter? Don’t you worry. You may soon be able to get your fix, even when you don’t know it’s happening!

The NYPD’s new technology (currently in development) will let the cops body scan you, your friends and your family from up to 82 feet away (currently in development)! It doesn’t matter if you see them or not – you don’t have to worry; the body scanner is there for you, your friends and your family, so that you can walk safely down the street and still get your fix of scanning bliss. So take heart! The long wait you’ve lamented many a long night about is almost over – body scanning; It’s the Bee’s Knees!