New Page: The 5 Things Any Wildly Successful Burglar Must Know

Whether you’re a burglar just starting out, or you’ve been in the game a long time, this is the page for you. These are our 5 best tips (so far) to make sure you get in, and get out, all in one piece and with your loot in your boot. Not your shoe, obviously, but the boot of your car, that is.

We’ll explain to you why you shouldn’t be like all the other, mostly stupid burglars that just count on their blind luck for their successes, and how you can pretty much guarantee that the good Lady Luck has nothing to do with your good fortune and growing bank account. How do you go about selecting the best target for your upcoming B&E? How do you get away? How do you avoid all those people who are surely keeping an eye on both you and your mark?

We’ll tell you all about it.

burglar_101 — Yeah... don't touch broken glass. That's not on the list, though...

Oh… incidentally… if you’re not a burglar, and have no plans to start doing random B&E’s around your neighborhood, then this new page is for you too! Surprised? Confused? It’s simple: your best defense is not actually offense, but knowing your enemy. If you know how an above-average burglar thinks, you are in a very good position to take preventive steps, so that you won’t be singled out as a good target.

Where to hide your valuables and cash is a good start, and we’ll also make you think a little bit about what you might be lacking when it comes to home security. Oh, and by the way… knowing how the best burglars do it and take steps against that will, of course, also help if one of the dimwits tries to take down your place.

Ready? Here’s the page! And it’s spectacular.

If you’re not up for burglary tips today, why not check out a dancing cop? He’s also spectacular.