Arm Your Army: How to (illegally) buy guns, and…
…why it’s probably a very, very bad idea.
So you’ve got your 50 or so guys together, and you’re all going down to some third world country, overthrow the government and take over their diamond mines or whatnot they’ve got that you want. All your guys are experienced mercs and they’re down for whatever comes up. However, they (and you) need guns. Also, they (and you) need big guns. How in the world do you go about getting those? Well… we’ve got a few answers, actually.
The Good Ol’ Way
You could do it the way it’s been done since… well, since they stopped selling ’em to just anyone. Find the worst part of town, and ask around. It might get you killed, of course, and especially so if you look or smell or feel like a cop or ATF agent or something along those lines, but you could also luck out and find out whoever is the local dealer of illegal and deadly fireworks.
The other part of this is using your contacts. Let’s be realistic here – you you have the contacts to get 50 “good men” together in order to overthrow a shady government in the darkest part of some quiet continent, then you (or a few of them) probably have some arms dealers in one of those little black books we’re pretty sure you all carry around. We do.
But what if none of them come through? What if you’re just a doomsday prepper, a survivalist or just have something on your record that stops you from getting a gun? What if, what if… You can still get your guns, you can still outfit your army, for that matter. It’s gonna cost you, but you expected as much, right? Right.
The New and Improved Way
Some of you may already have heard of it. Hell, some of you may even have done some shopping there, though that might be unlikely. The Armory isn’t brand new, but it’s certainly a step into the modern age for the illegal arms trade. Yes… it’s true. You can actually buy weapons online, from the comfort of your own home, and have them shipped to you. Sounds like a surefire way of getting caught, you say? Sure, on the face of it. However, these crafty arms dealers have taken steps against that, don’t you worry.
So how does one get to The Armory?
Well, according to the ATF, The Armory is simply a legitimate gun store down in Virginia Beach. That’s how far their knowledge of this online store goes. Which is to say, they haven’t even begun the race. In fact, they’re not even clued into the fact that there’s such a thing as the internet, apparently. So let’s not worry about them. The only way to get into the Armory is through a maze of encryption, PGP keys for messaging and proxy servers. The first step is getting to know TOR, a service that will put you farther out of the reach of any tracking than anything else. The second is getting to the “website” itself, and understanding that it’s not even a part of the regular internet – something The Armory’s web address reflects: “ayjkg6ombrsahbx2.onion“. Try it. It won’t work in your browser.
When you’ve found the place, you need to get yourself some Bitcoins (BTC). That’s another venture into the world of hiding yourself and your intentions from the prying eyes of… well, anyone who’s not in on your plans.
Then, negotiate your deal and pay the man. Or woman. Who knows. And, don’t you know… here’s where it gets tricky.
Why You Probably Shouldn’t.
Look, the internet is one thing. It’s hardly a physical thing, and disguising yourself and your activity there is easy if you know how. Even if you don’t know how to do it yourself, there’s always Google. Google will tell you. Disguising physical things being sent to you, however, is not easy, and even with the precautions The Armory employs, getting the physical weapon is the most dangerous part.
The Armory sends you the weapon in pieces. Or rather, the dealer sends you the weapon in pieces. An AK47 might arrive over the course of two weeks, for example, in 28 pieces or so. Hard for anyone to track, but not impossible. Also, a weapon taken apart like that is not a like a kit you get from a store – you need an intimate knowledge to reassemble that thing, making sure it won’t blow up in your face after you’re done and out testing it for the first time. So if you’re just looking for a cool hunting rifle… you’ll be better off with the version of the Armory that’s down in Virginia Beach. It’s simply a tip. If you’re not intimately familiar with the weapon… you probably don’t need it, and shouldn’t have it.
The Armory might be safer than meeting an arms dealer in the flesh. They tend to be unstable entities, if we’re to believe the movies… but buying illegal weapons is never risk free. You could be out money, men or your life if you’re not careful. That said… check it out – it’s extremely interesting to see what can be bought with the right amount of cash and patience.
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