“According to a new study” is such a boring opening line, so we’re not going to say that. Instead, we say this:

Weirdo scientists claim getting electrocuted can KILL YOU! The world’s in shock. Pun intended.

Apparently, someone has been studying tasers, you know the gun-like thingies that cops use to make people shudder, shit themselves and writhe around on the ground. Usually, the cops have a reason for doing that to someone, such as not wanting to run anymore, and/or not wanting to get shot by a real gun that the perp is holding in his (or her) hand. Fair enough.

There have been some reports of people getting “tazed” for no reason what so ever, but that can’t really be true, of course. Anyway! Here’s a little more on that stunning (oh!) discovery.

The electrical shock delivered to the chest by a Taser can lead to cardiac arrest and sudden death, according to a new study, although it is unknown how frequently such deaths occur.

Really? It can KILL people? It looks so mellow...

The study, which analyzed detailed records from the cases of eight people who went into cardiac arrest after receiving shocks from a Taser X26 fired at a distance, is likely to add to the debate about the safety of the weapons. Seven of the people in the study died; one survived.

Advocacy groups like Amnesty International have argued that Tasers, the most widely used of a class of weapons known as electrical control devices, are potentially lethal and that stricter rules should govern their use.

This study has been done using the taser in the picture there, and apparently, they’ve studied a whole bunch of “cases” where the person who got shot… uhm… died. From being shot at. With a bazillion volts of electricity. And everyone was shocked by the discoveries they made.

Dr. Robert J. Myerburg, a professor of medicine in cardiology at the University of Miami Miller School of Medicine, said that Dr. Zipes’s role in litigation also gave him extensive access to data from medical records, police records and autopsy reports. The study, he said, had persuaded him that in at least some of the eight cases, the Taser shock was responsible for the cardiac arrests.

“I think when we put together the preponderance of what we know about electrical shocks with his observations, there’s enough to say that the phenomenon occurs,” he said. But he added, “I suspect the incidence of these fatal events is going to be low and can be minimized by the precautions.”

Police officers, he said, should take precautions when using the weapons and avoid multiple shocks, prolonged shocks and shocks to the chest.

“I’d rather see Tasers out there than bullets flying around,” Dr. Myerburg said. “But if you have a choice, if the circumstances allow you to avoid either, then physical restraint should be considered.”

The moral of this story? Well… if you have to electrocute someone, just remember that they could die. Also, don’t do it for very long. Or repeatedly. Because they could die… more, apparently. Which is probably worse that just dying a little.

 

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