A wise old man once told me, that when dealing with the public: “Be as aggressive as you need to be, fight if you have to and win as many as you can – just don’t start anything.” That, dear reader is advice that has brought me into a lot of situations that I’m sure could have been avoided, but it has also brought me around far, far more situations that could have become serious in a hurry. If you’re working in security, it should also be one of your main rules. Hell, unless you’re a soldier in an army on the offense, then it should apply to you no matter where you work and what you do.
Don’t worry, I’ll explain.
Being aggressive, in the sense that you’re what some people would call “angry”, is not a bad thing. That is, as long as you manage to be the master of your own aggression. Once you let it out of your control, that’s a whole different story. Aggression under control can be a great tool in a confrontation, since it’s one of the few emotions that our bodies communicate very clearly to those around us, and it’s one that is easily understood by those who are around us.
In general, people today aren’t used to facing aggression, and if you can use your own, controlled aggression in a confrontation, it may dissipate the situation faster than if you’ve tried to reason with someone. Meeting a stronger alpha individual, male or female, after all is one of the things that we instinctively react to. That said…use this with caution. Just like any other method you’ve learned to use in volatile situations, this too can blow up in your face.
Usually, this is something we try to avoid, isn’t it, kids?
Yes it is. Sometimes, it still becomes necessary to get physical, and not in that good way that we like. So you’ve tried to talk things down, and escalated according to that chart you’ve probably seen if you’re in security, and you’ve even tried to take the lead by being the alpha individual, topping the aggression in the situation. Nothing works, and things get physical.
If you do decide to take the fight route instead of the flight, then be as sure as you can of one thing: you’ll win. If you’re unsure of this, then chances are you’ll lose, and you’ll get hurt. Learning how to fight is something everyone in security should make a priority – the style doesn’t matter – everything from capoeira to MMA style will work wonders, both for your ability to win a physical fight, and for your ability to control your aggression and self confidence.
But there’s one thing you have to remember, at all times and everywhere:
Don’t Start Nuthin’!
Whatever you do, never be the one to start it. Never, ever. If someone wants to be a douchebag, let’em start the scene, don’t make it yourself. If you start it, you’ve already lost, and even if you eventually have to take flight instead of fighting, you’re still the winner, since you didn’t start anything in the first place.
Remember: Being aggressive is not the same as being angry or violent – it’s a very old way of displaying dominance, which will make other people either diffuse (in most cases) or blow up in order to challenge that dominance. In today’s society, we’ve come a little farther than apes, and that is why the dominance will, in most cases, make people back off.
Your goal, at all times, should be: Don’t start it, but be sure to finish it.
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