How to Talk Like a Cop, and the 5-word rule

… or, how to speak to people with authority, and make them do what you say.

You might not believe this, but most law enforcement schools and academies train their recruits in speaking techniques. Weird? Maybe. Useful? Definitely. That’s why you sometimes hear people say that they can hear that someone is a cop just by listening to them speak, or people say that all cops sound alike, or sound the same. There’s a reason for that.

Speaking techniques isn’t a new subject – there are many different kinds, depending on the goal of the person using them. wanna be good at selling used cars? You’ll ned a specific set of techniques. Wanna be good at telling people what to do? You’ll need our set of techniques.

Adressing a Group (6+ people)

This can be one of two things; either the most difficult situation, or the easiest. It all comes down to you. You need to clear a room after a fire alarm? You have to organize a bunch of people into one orderly line? Is no one listening to you? This will definitely help.

1: Don’t be afraid to make a little noise.

Get their attention. That’s the first commandment. Walk in, stand where everyone can see you, and clap your hands a couple of times. Hard and loud, please – you’re not applauding in a church. Be content with about 90% of eyes turned to you. The remaining 10% or so will conform to the “crowd mind” when you’ve communicated your intent. It’s just the way humans work.

2: Be uncomfortably loud.

Unless you’re used to this kind of thing, you’ll probably be uncomfortable with the volume you’ll have to employ in this situation. Think about how loud you are when you’re angry (not screaming – angry discussion, for example), and then dial that up a notch. Yep. Dial it up a notch.

This isn’t going to be very nice, and you may even come across as annoyed or angry to the listeners, but don’t worry about that just now. This is simply to get their attention.

REMEMBER: Don’t ASK! TELL them what to do. Don’t say “Please listen!”. Say “Please listen!“. See the difference? Good.

3: Keep your sentences short.

Loud.

People in a crowd are strange creatures. Their brains will almost literally shut down if too much information is presented at once. That’s why there’s a rule for this as well, and if you’re talking to a crowd, here’s the deal:

NEVER SAY MORE THAN 5 WORDS IN A SINGLE SENTENCE!

This could just as easily have been bullet no.1. If there’s more than ~5 words in the sentence, multiple people will tune out and not understand your message. At all. There’s gonna be trouble. 5 words.

REMEMBER: Don’t ASK! TELL them, in 5 WORDS OR LESS! “Please FORM and ORDERLY line! Thank you.” That’s 2 sentences – 7 words. Good to go.

4: Mind your body language.

Authority is mostly communicated through body language. It doesn’t matter what gender you are, whether you’re tall or short (though tall people will have an easier time…) or how much you weigh. What matters are the things that you communicate with your body.

– Stand up straight. Chest out, chin up, eyes front.
– Be open. Don’t cross your arms over your chest, don’t hold your palms out to the crowd – those are dismissive gestures, closing you off. Keep one arm down your side, point with the other to where the line’s gonna be, or where you want them to go. Or whatever.
– Face the crowd. Don’t turn your side to them. Don’t turn your back. Don’t look at the floor – keep your chin up and your eyes on the crowd.
– Seek eye contact with individuals. This will make them pay more attention.

5: Provide an incentive and make the crowd work for you.

There’s nothing worse than being told what to do. That’s why you have to remember the 5-word rule. Tell them what to do in 5 words or less. Then provide a reason for them to like it.

Example:
“Please LISTEN! Everyone, FORM an ORDERLY line! You’ll have your tickets much faster.”
Yes, that last one is 6 words. However, the important thing is keeping your orders to 5 words or less. The ones who fall off the wagon on the last sentence will still conform to the orders, or be reprimanded by those who heard your incentive. That saves you both time and work (and voice).

 

Adressing an Individual (1-4 people)

1: Choose who you want to talk to / with.

You can’t talk to everyone at once. You’ll have to pick one individual, if there’s 2 – 4 of them there. The others will automatically listen, and more often than not be reprimanded by the others if they interfere. Choose wisely – the “leader” will often approach you first, so speak to him/her. Answer questions from the “bleachers” only in single syllable words. This will keep them at bay. Yes, no, wait, later, etc.

2: Mind your body language.

See the point under adressing a crowd. It’s just as important here. Back straight, eyes front, open attitude (unless you’re blocking an entrance, for example. Then, crossed arms, etc, can be effective).

3: Be comfortably loud.

Unlike when adressing a crowd, you’ll have to be more mindful of your volume here. Be louder than you’d usually be in a 1-on-1 conversation, but not so loud as to attract attention from bypassers or others that have nothing to do with the issue. Make use of your emphasis – see bullet 3 under adressing a crowd.

4: Listen.

This is an important one, so listen up. Do not interrupt. Listen to what the other person has to say before you repeat or modify your response. One of the major errors that cops and security people do is refusing to listen. You have the time, and people are amazingly  more likely to do what you want if they’ve had a chance to vent their questions or frustrations, even if you only dismiss them with a “Yes, we’ll deal with that in a minute, sir.”

SUMMARY:

– Remember the 5-word rule.
– Mind your body language.
– Jack your volume up.
TELL them, don’t ask.

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